A Black at Heart
by Miss Bijou
Summary: "Hey... Harry? I found some letters Sirius wrote. Have you ever heard of an Élisabeth LaBelle?" What if you loved someone, in secret, all your life? What if you had no idea if they were even alive, and you had no way to contact them? Would you still keep them in your heart?
1. Chapter One: Discovery in the Attic

Bright sunlight streamed through the green leaves in the park across the street from the houses of Grimmauld place. After a long and bitterly cold winter, all citizens of London were happy to see the sun and blue sky again. Families from all over the bustling city were in the park enjoying the fresh air so long withheld from them. One small trio ambled along through the park, stopping here and there to smell flowers, or in the case of the gangly redhead among them, exclaim vociferously whenever a squirrel picked up and ate a nut.

"Ron!" the girl yelled at the redheaded boy. "Stop wasting time! Yes, squirrels eat nuts, they're magnificent creatures, but can we _please_ move faster?"

"Sorry, Hermione," Ron replied, then pulled her in for a quick kiss. The third person of the trio, a boy with jet-black hair and glasses, turned away and feigned gagging at the sight of his amorous friends. Ron snickered, but understanding his disgust, let go of Hermione and walked with long strides across the remainder of the park.

The three friends soon reached the edge of the park and crossed the street. The black-haired boy casually turned around, seemingly admiring the view, but his eyes carefully scrutinized everyone anywhere near them. Once assured that no one was watching they approached the area between number 11 and number 13. Another house sprang forth in between the two others, visible only to the three standing on its steps. The people in the park were too busy having their own fun to notice that the three had completely disappeared.

"Master Harry!" a small, dirty house elf greeted them with a low bow as they entered the house. "I have made supper for you and your friends, as you requested. It shall be ready in twenty minutes."

"Thank you, Kreacher. I don't know what we would do without you!" Harry said to the elf. "It will only be the three of us for supper tonight, Ginny's practice has been extended tonight due to the good weather, so she will be here in a few hours."

"Not a problem, I shall keep some food cold for Mistress Ginevra to have when she arrives," the house elf replied with another bow.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione went into the sitting room while Kreacher returned to the kitchen. Smells of seasoned steak wafted into the room, making Ron's stomach growl. Hermione laughed at his persistent hunger.

"So what exactly is the plan for the night? We have to clean what, exactly?" Ron asked.

Harry replied, "Well Ginny and I found an attic last week that we had never seen before, and we were unsure of what might be in there. We need to explore it, make sure everything's safe, you know? When it's all done we want everything to be put into storage."

"Great, more cleaning!" Ron said emphatically, throwing his hands in the air. "Haven't we been doing enough of that at the Burrow getting ready for Perce's wedding?"

Hermione gently put her hand on his arm, the small diamond on her finger sparkling in the sunlight that filtered in through the windows. "Calm down, Ron," she said. "It will be fast work with the three of us."

"I don't think it's even a big room, at least by what we saw when we peeked in it," Harry said. "The attic is above Sirius' room, so it's bound to have interesting things."

"Interesting, dusty things," Ron said in an undertone. Hermione then shot him a look that he knew meant stop complaining, so he promptly shut up.

Supper was ready soon after, to Ron's great delight, so the three friends relocated to the recently redecorated kitchen and continued their conversation.

After she had taken a few bites Hermione asked, "Do you think there will be any enchantments on things in the attic?"

"Dunno," Harry replied with his mouth full of half-chewed steak. "I'd say it's fifty-fifty, since for one it's above Sirius' room, but other of his family's things may be up there."

Ron puffed up his chest and said, "Even if there are chests full of boggarts and pixies, I'll take care of it, Hermione."

His mock-manliness did not have the intended effect on Hermione, who rather than thinking her fiancé the bravest Gryffindor in the world, burst out laughing. "My knight in shining armor," she laughed sarcastically after her fit of giggles died down.

When all their food was eaten and Kreacher had cleared the table, the three of them headed up the stairs to the top floor and ventured in to Sirius' old room.

"Ah, my favorite room in the house!" Ron said, staring at the posters of models on the walls. Harry looked at the pictures appreciatively, while Hermione just shook her head in amusement.

Ron finally took his eyes off the models and examined the room more closely. "Where exactly is this as-yet-unexplored attic?" he asked.

Harry lit his wand and pointed to the farthest corner of the room where a bookshelf was. "Up there," he said. "It's hard to see, because it's hidden by the bookshelf. I'm amazed we even found it in the first place."

"Well then," Hermione said, "let's get started. _Locomotor bookshelf!_" The bookshelf hovered in its place and moved up against the adjacent wall as Hermione moved it.

Harry opened the attic and climbed in first, followed by Ron and then Hermione. Harry lit the lightbulb hanging in the center of the small room, exposing the rows of boxes and trunks that entirely filled the room.

"So much for getting done quickly," Ron said dejectedly. "This is going to take all night to get through!"

The three of them each found a space to work and carefully began opening up the old boxes. They worked in silence for only a moment before fascinating treasures sparked their interest. The boxes contained old medals awarded to long-deceased members of the Black family; faded photo albums with portraits of witches and wizards glad to have a change of view for once, happy to see light rather than the dark, dingy pages of other photographs; and newspaper clippings from The Daily Prophet listing special achievements done by prominent relatives, along with other old memorabilia. The three friends shared their findings with each other whenever they came across something particularly interesting.

"This stuff is so cool! Look at this hat!" Ron yelled, putting a decaying wizard's hat on his head.

"Well," Harry said after they had been working for a few minutes, "it doesn't look like there's anything dangerous or magical in here. It's just a lot of old Black family keepsakes."

Ron screamed suddenly and jumped up from his spot. He backed up and whimpered in the corner.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

Ron just whimpered more, mumbling incoherently. "Sp-sp-, there was a-a-a spider!"

Harry stood up and walked to where Ron had been sitting. He laughed then asked, holding up a small spider, "You were scared of this thing?"

Ron just grimaced, then crept back to the box he was unpacking, and everyone went back to work.

A little while later Hermione nervously called out, "Hey... Harry? I found some letters Sirius wrote. Have you ever heard of an Élisabeth LaBelle?"


	2. Chapter Two: Secrets from the Past

Hermione handed Harry a letter from the large red box in her lap. He stared at the letter confusedly for a moment. The envelope, yellowed with age, had markings on the front showing it had been returned to Sirius without ever having reached the intended recipient in Liverpool, the mysterious Élisabeth LaBelle. Its seal had never been broken, and although Harry supposed it could have been resealed with magic, he doubted it had been read. "Should I just. . . open it? What if it's really private?" he asked.

"Harry, Sirius has been dead for almost four years. It's all right to open it," Hermione said. "We might learn something important from the letters."

Gingerly, Harry broke the envelope's seal and took out the letter within. He read it aloud to the Ron and Hermione. "_23 July 1978. Chère Élisabeth, I know it has only been three weeks since I last saw you but I miss you already. Times are hard and I am very busy with the Order, but at every moment you are on my mind._"

At this Ron snickered, "Who knew Sirius was so soft?"

"A hem," Hermione said glaring at Ron, then said calmly to Harry, "Continue."

Harry returned to the letter and rather embarrassingly continued reading, "_I want to fight to keep the world safe for your final year at Hogwarts. Whenever I feel stressed or like our cause is hopeless, I think of our last night together and it all seems worthwhile. I forgot to tell you then for I was so enchanted by the rest of you, but your hair that night looked beautiful that night._

"_I am so sorry that we have to keep us a secret. It greatly complicates everything. I know it has to be hard on you, for it is killing me. But you know how it is these days. The war is all around us. We won't be able to be together until the war is over, and we have won. If my-I hesitate to use the word "cousin," but she is that, if only in blood-cousin were to find out that I was seeing you, she would kill the both of us. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. She has proven to be very vicious to defectors such as yourself, even if you never fully joined them. You will be safe at Hogwarts, but keep an eye out for anything suspicious nonetheless._

"_I have to see you again, soon, or else I'll die. I can't get away without James noticing, though_." Harry's speaking faltered at the mention of his father.

"Oi! Give it here," Ron said, and he grabbed the letter from his hands and continued reading it. "_I wish that I could at least tell_ him _about us, I know that he would be able to help us and keep our secret, but we can't risk_ anyone _knowing about us. The only time I didn't have to lie about you was when I saw him and Evans in the common room that last night. They didn't even notice me leaving through the portrait hole._" Ron burst out laughing.

"Hey, those are my parents!" Harry yelled. "Don't laugh at them!"

"But he just wrote-"

Hermione interrupted him saying, "Ronald! Don't be so childish. It doesn't say anything. My turn, thank you." And she yanked the letter from his hands. "_Many times I have wanted to tell him about our relationship, but I couldn't. I can't risk us. I wish it didn't have to be like this._

"_Tu me manques, Élisabeth. Je t'aime._  
"_You are forever in my heart,__  
__Sirius_."

The group sat in silence, each deep in their own thoughts. The clock below in Sirius' room struck ten o'clock and roused them to speak.

"Well that was informative," Harry said. "I never really thought about Sirius having a love life."

Ron chuckled to himself then said, "Me neither."

Before they could say anything else they heard footsteps below them and the hatch door to the attic opened. A fire-red head poked up. "Knock knock!" Ginny greeted everyone, climbing up to join them. "Found anything good so far?"

"Sirius was in loveee!" Ron said laughingly.

Ginny wrinkled her nose and made a gagging motion. "What?" she asked, part confused, part disgusted, and very much intrigued.

"Here, read this," Hermione said and handed her the letter. "This and a hundred other letters were in a box. This one was returned to sender, and it looks like only a few others were sent out at all."

Ginny sat down by Harry and read its contents, looking surprised, happy, or sad at the appropriate lines in the letter. When she had finished reading it she said, "Well there's only we can do: we have to find her!"

"And how do we do that?" Ron asked, shocked at his sister's suggestion. "Sirius obviously didn't know how to find her, so how could we?"

Hermione sighed sadly and agreed with Ron. "It's too bad. I'm interested in knowing what happened with her now."

Harry, who had been sitting in a contemplative silence for the past few minutes, finally spoke up and said, "I bet there's information about her somewhere. It wouldn't be hard to use the Auror office's resources to find out where she is."

"Great!" Ginny piped up. "Invite her over for tea! Is next weekend too soon?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Harry said gently. "We still have to _find_ her first."

"I know you'll find out everything there is to know in no time," she replied, giving him a quick kiss. "I'll stop by the store tomorrow and find a guide on hosting dinners."

Harry just chuckled in response. He knew that when his girlfriend wanted something, she went for it. There was no way to stop her plans now that they were in progress.

_

Harry sat is his cubicle the next day thinking about how to go about finding Élisabeth LaBelle. Luckily he didn't have a lot of work to do that day, so he could devote a few hours to his personal research and other things. He gazed happily at the many photographs which covered his walls. The faces of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasley family smiled back at him and waved. So many happy memories were captured in those photographs. Unfortunately his alone time didn't last long. A constant stream of people came into his office all morning exchanging pleasantries, asking favors of him, or asking for his advice on their own work. He had only been working in the Ministry for a few years but already he had made a lot of progress in updating the Auror Office, so many officials desired his opinion.

"Good morning, Harry!" One of his co-workers, Charlotte, peeked over the sides of his cubicle. "Here are the latest reports from the field workers. By the looks of it they find the Weasley products very useful! I haven't had a chance to use the new curse-rebounding jackets yet, but I'm sure they work perfectly. Oh, and have you seen Boot around? I have more paperwork for him. Oh, it is just _great_ weather we are having now! I'm _so_ glad that winter is over."

Harry stopped listening to her at that point, but it didn't appear that she noticed any difference. She kept talking for a few more minutes, and likely would have gone on for an hour, but then a sympathetic Auror passing by diverted Charlotte's attention away from Harry and led her away.

Just when he thought he might finally have a free moment, he heard "Mr. Potter?" A new intern, Harry couldn't quite remember his name, stood at his doorway, twirling his wand in his fingers absentmindedly.

"Yes? How many I help you?" Harry replied, trying to sound pleasant.

"Sir," he began, not noticing Harry's quiet chuckle, "I was wondering if I could leave early on Friday? It's my birthday and I want to have time with my family. I haven't seen them in a while."

"Of course! In fact, things have been slowing down recently, you can take the whole day off."

The boy, or man, Harry thought, as he knew was a few years older than him, despite his young features, thanked him profusely then excused himself. Harry heard Charlotte greet him loudly in the hallway. "Hello, Beetle!" he heard her practically yell. _Ah, yes, Beetle was his name_, Harry thought to himself.

After his many interruptions, Harry finally had time to research Élisabeth. Despite having scrutinized Sirius' letter all night, Harry had only learned a few things about her: she was probably French, she was a year below Sirius while at Hogwarts, and she had apparently once sympathised with the Death Eaters, then decided against it. And that was all he knew. Harry wondered if she might be listed in the records of one-time Death Eaters, but since she had never really joined them he was doubtful. Deciding to check the records just in case, he left his desk and walked to a large side room where shelves upon shelves were filled with documents about former Death Eaters.

Harry searched fruitlessly for a few minutes then another person entered the room with him. "Hello, Harry," the person said.

Harry turned around and saw his old schoolmate Terry Boots. "Oh hey, Terry. Did Charlotte find you? She was looking for you earlier, I think."

Terry grimaced, which Harry took for a yes. Harry laughed and said, "Well, she adds colour to the office!"

Terry quickly found what he was searching for and left the room. Harry scanned the shelves until he found a file on potential Death Eaters to watch. To his great surprise, towards the end of the file was an old document on Mlle Élisabeth LaBelle. Attached was a small photograph of the girl, although Harry supposed she had grown up much since the photograph had been taken. Her brown eyes shone up at Harry as she smiled innocently, her brown curls bouncing as she tilted her head. In bright letters at the top of the paper was a note that she was not a problem and did not need to be watched. Harry scanned the rest of the page until he found what he was looking for. Two addresses were listed for her; the first was crossed out. The first was an address in Liverpool, the other in Marseille, France. Written by it were the words, _Moved to France in 1978. Did not finish schooling_.


	3. Chapter Three: Old Memories

Élisabeth LaBelle shuffled around her small white kitchen, smiling as she listened to _Deux Sorcières dans le Matin_, her favorite morning radio show. She had a busy day of cleaning and cooking ahead of her for her son was coming to dinner for his birthday and she was eager to impress him. Ever since he was young he had laughed at her for how untidy she was. To make matters worse, he had always done everything in his power to cause mischief whenever he could and cause an even greater mess. It had been hard looking after a rascal like him for so long, so she wasn't very disappointed when it was time for him to go to Beauxbatons.

Élisabeth had been excited about this day for weeks because she had not gotten to see him since Christmas. He had been out of school for a few years now and was training as an Auror in England, so she only got to see him a few times a year. Due to his busy schedule, she received a few letters from him a month, which were usually short and contained sparse details. It was high time for a reunion.

A faint tapping at the kitchen window startled Élisabeth's happy thoughts. "I'm not expecting any letters from anyone, what could this be?" she said to herself. She hoped it wasn't her son cancelling the evening's plans.

Undoing the latch on the window, she let in the grey owl. It bounced happily inside, looking with its yellow eyes around the kitchen for anything it could eat it to refresh itself. Noticing how tired it looked, Élisabeth fetched a wooden bowl from a cupboard and filled it with water. She placed it in front of the owl, which it looked at suspiciously, then greedily drank it up. She hoped that her own owl had left enough rodents in the garden outside alive for this one to eat. When the owl had drank all it wanted, it held out its right leg, on which was tied a letter on expensive-looking parchment.

Wondering what the letter could be, she sat down at the table and began to read the letter. It was short, only three lines long, but it was straightforward. _We need to talk_, was the main idea of the letter. It was signed by _H.P. and friends_. The letter was dated 30 March 2000, just a few days before, and it requested tea at her home on the eighth. When she read the postscript, her heart nearly stopped. _It's about Sirius Black_.

All at once, long-suppressed memories crashed through the walls of the fortress that was her mind.

hr

_It was the night before her sixth year at Hogwarts. She had done well on her OWLs, and her grandparents were very proud of her. As a going-back-to-school present they had given her a gold necklace that had belonged to her mother. Élisabeth stared at her reflection in the mirror with pride. She pulled up her light brown hair and smiled. "You look just like your maman," her __grand-mère said, kissing her on the cheek.__ She hoped that her mother would be proud of the woman she was becoming. When she was still just a baby, her mother had passed away. Her father had never been in the picture; Élisabeth didn't even know his name. The thought made her frown, but it made her work harder in life. She wanted to be able to support her future family and live a better life than her mother had.___

_The next morning she arrived at King's Cross promptly, ready for another year. With plans to excel in every one of her classes, she had already begun reading her books for the year. Her Transfiguration book was particularly interesting, and as soon as she boarded the train and found an empty compartment it was on her lap and open to the third chapter. She was so engrossed in her reading she didn't even notice when other people filled the seats around her. Their noise didn't bother her until one of them did.___

_"Hello, what are you reading?" someone asked.___

_Annoyed, Élisabeth looked up to see who was speaking to her. Instantly she recognized Sirius Black, the resident flirt of Hogwarts, and a seventh year Gryffindor. Many of her own friends, though they were loyal Slytherins, had harbored crushes on him since they had first arrived at the school, but she had never felt any infatuation for him. He was just another distraction standing in her way to a successful life. She had never bothered with any boys; they were a waste of her valuable time. Rolling her eyes, she replied, "My Transfiguration textbook," then went back to reading, hoping he would leave her alone.___

_He didn't. As exuberant as ever he said, "Oh I love dear old Minnie, don't you? She makes the subject really come alive, doesn't she? Transfiguration might be my favorite class. I bet you love Potions, since Slughorn always favors you Slytherins."__  
_  
_All the while he talked on, never waiting for a reply, so Élisabeth continued reading, only half-listening. _Will this boy never stop talking?_ she thought.__  
_  
_Just when she thought she couldn't take it any longer, one of his friends made him stop. "Padfoot, leave the poor girl alone. Can't you see she doesn't want to be bothered?"___

_The speaker was Remus Lupin, a prefect she had seen around the school before but had never spoken to. She didn't understand how he, a good, responsible boy, could be friends with hoodlums like Sirius Black and James Potter. Pompous Gryffindors, as she and her friends called them. Still, she was thankful for his help. She put her book down a little to smile at him and said a quiet "Thank you."___

_It wasn't until after they had all eaten lunch from the trolley and Remus had left for a prefect's meeting that Élisabeth decided to talk to the others left in the compartment. Sirius was staring out the window at the passing greenery. Next to him sat Peter Pettigrew, who was reading his Defense Against the Dark Arts book. She didn't know much about him other than that everyone thought he was strange. In the window Sirius must have seen her reflection looking around, for he said, "How rude of me, I suppose I didn't formally introduce myself earlier: I'm Sirius Black." He held out his hand to her.___

_Knowing full well about the pranks he and his friends regularly pulled, it was warily that accepted his hand and shook it. "Élisabeth LaBelle," she said stiffly.___

_The ensuing conversations were short, but Sirius was very persistent. By the end of the train ride, he had her smiling and laughing, her mind far away from her studies. "Lighten up," he told her as they were deboarding. "Try to have some fun this year! It's a dark world out there, but at Hogwarts you should try to have some fun while you still can."_

_He winked, bowed, and kissed her hand before leaving._ What an interesting fellow, _she thought merrily._

_Over the next few weeks she saw Sirius again a few times passing in the halls. Every time Sirius made a point to smile and greet her, and every time Élisabeth opened up a little bit more. Slowly but surely her heart was beginning to soften towards him, and she didn't even realize it. She came to enjoy every second that she saw him, and sometimes even peeked over at the Gryffindor table during meals hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Having never felt anything like that for a boy before, she didn't understand that she was falling in love with Sirius Black. Her friends would have been astounded.___

_Her feelings first came to light when in early November she saw him huddled in a dark corner with a blonde Ravenclaw. A pang of jealousy shot through her body and she ran_ _away before he could see her. _I can't like Sirius, _she thought to herself once safely in the Slytherin common room. _He's a Gryffindor, and one of the biggest troublemakers of the school at that. He's a flirt and all your friends have crushes on him. You can't love him. _She felt like some silly first year. What was happening to her?_

_Whenever she passed him she tried ignoring him, but it just made her like him all the more. One day a month later she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Turning around, she saw Sirius, and her face involuntarily broke into a wide smile. "Lizzy! We haven't talked in a long time. How have you been?"___

_She would have grimaced at his name for her-she had told him before to call her Élisabeth-but she was too happy to see him again. _Stupid girl, stop smiling so big! _she mentally reprimanded herself. Stumbling over her words a little she said, "Good, I guess. Busy studying! I have lots of work to do if I want to be a healer." She hoped he would continue the conversation despite her nervous lack of words._

_"Lighten up, buttercup. Stop taking the world so seriously," he said as he drew her into a hug. At the physical contact her heart was nearly beating out of her chest; she hoped he couldn't feel it.___

_She didn't really know how it happened, but by winter holidays there were spending time together every day. By unspoken agreement their friendship was kept a secret. The tension between their two houses was too great, and their reputations for hating each other's houses were at stake. It was a dangerous world, and not even their closest friends could know about their unlikely bond. Against all odds, they had become friends, and Élisabeth truly valued their time together. She didn't want it to be ruined by other people's thoughts and interference. She was too scared even to admit her growing feelings for him for fear that it would change their relationship for the worse.___

_They were walking around the school together a few nights before they left for break when the elephant in the castle was finally addressed. "You know," Sirius started, "James and Remus have been asking where I always am. Remus is sure I have been seeing a secret girlfriend." He looked at her and half-smiled. "What do you say we make his theories true?"___

_Sitting down he continued, "I know this won't surprise you, but I have never had an actual girlfriend or anything close to one before. Before it was always just about, well, you know." He stopped talking for a moment, clearly trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say. "I've never been committed to any one person, but with you it seems different. I fancy you, Élisabeth, like I never have before. It's more than just a physical attraction; I love your heart."__  
_  
_With happiness and love radiating from her inside out, she kissed him. All her hopes had come true, and her fears that her love wasn't reciprocated vanished. Sirius Black had confessed his feelings for her; her life was complete.___

_For the next few months they saw each other in secret, making excuses to all their friends about studying or meeting with various teachers. Élisabeth hoped not too many people would notice how Sirius didn't flirt with every female in Hogwarts anymore, but surprisingly people seemed to believe the excuse that he was actually focusing on his studies. She heard people talk about how mature he was becoming, "And about time, too," many said. Yes, he had matured, but not necessarily in his schooling. For the first time, Sirius Black was taking relationships seriously. His heart was maturing.___

_When Valentine's Day arrived, Élisabeth was unsure about what to expect. Sirius had been acting secretive recently and she was sure he was planning something. What she didn't expect was to wake up surrounded by vases of flowers and chocolates. She was shocked, but her heart was warm. This seemed so unlike every perception of him that the school had._ Sirius really loves me, doesn't he? _she thought. _

_The last night of the school year was the best night of her life. As a seventh year, it was Sirius' last night at Hogwarts, while Élisabeth still had one more year to complete her education. "I want this night to be special for the both of us," he told her. Blindfolding her he led her around the castle to a place where they would not be disturbed. When he removed her blindfold she found themselves in a room she had never seen before, beautifully decorated with lush pillows and a bed.___

_Turning around to look him in the eyes, she smiled and said quietly, "I had no idea a place like this existed in Hogwarts."___

_Wrapping her in a loving hug he said, "For you, ma chère, it does."___

_Picking her up he carried her to the bed and gently laid her down. He then lay down next to her and raised his hand to stroke her cheek. Élisabeth smiled and blushed at his touch. Knowing what was coming, she felt a nervous excitement. Because she had never taken an interest in boys she had never experienced love like this before, but she knew that Sirius had. In the moment, though, none of it was in her mind. Tonight was all about the love that she and Sirius shared, which she was equally sure he had never felt before. "Je t'aime, Sirius" she whispered, and she turned off her thoughts and allowed her instincts to take over._

_So much changed over the following months, and she never saw him again. She couldn't bear to. Their blossoming love had been doomed from the start. Their fates were sealed without a doubt a few years later when she read the newspaper and saw his name. Though now living again in France, the news that he had murdered his old friend, Peter Pettigrew, along with many Muggles, was big enough to be put in the newspaper. Her heart was torn and her mind was a mess, but she wiped her eyes, held her head high, and carried on through the day. She wouldn't let anyone know how much it affected her.___

_And finally, she remembered the heart stopping moment when, on a day much like today,_ _she had read his name in the newspaper. _Dead. _The love of her life was no longer on this earth. After years of believing him to be guilty of the most heinous murders, to find out that he had been innocent all along, yet had been wrongfully imprisoned for so long, and was now dead, was enough to make her weak. That time, she did faint.___

_Later, with tears in her eyes she cut out the article and placed it lovingly in a black box full of other old newspaper clippings and many unsent letters. She looked back over the aged articles through the tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't believe it. At least before she was comforted by the fact that the man she had loved was alive, if not well. Now she could not even console herself with those thoughts._ What has become of my life, that I should still weep for the man I have not seen for nearly twenty years? How is it that I have held him in my heart all these long years? _She could not answer the questions she posed to herself; she could only let her emotions run their course and cry._

hr

For an hour she lay dazed on the couch. Memories flowed like all the many tears she had cried over the years. She was a pitiful sight, yet there was no one to pity her. The pain in her heart she had always kept to herself. No one else had ever known that she, Élisabeth LaBelle, the soft-spoken but driven Slytherin, had been the ill-fated lover of Sirius Black. But now someone did know something. She was fearful of what the sender of the letter might know, but she hoped that whatever they had to say would bring healing to her poor heart. After years of being broken, she was in great need of healing.

Coming back to herself, she patted the owl on its head and went to grab a quill and parchment.

_That sounds wonderful, I shall see you then.__  
__Sincerely,__  
__Élisabeth LaBelle_


	4. Chapter Four: Tea Time

Secrets are peculiar things. They have a way of driving us insane. A secret kept inside can torment one's mind, but a secret released to the world can ravage and destroy all people. A secret can be the most dangerous force in the world, because how far it will reach is never known. It is equally dangerous to keep a secret; it just may cause one to self-implode.

All her life, Élisabeth had felt the intense burden of keeping secrets to herself. Many times, indeed, she had nearly been fed up with the things she was holding inside and thrown it all away. Stable was not a word that could be used to describe her. From the inside out the secrets were eating away at her being. She had no confidant, no one she could trust. She had never felt the freedom and security of full trust and honesty. Her secrets were her life; her life was her secret. No one alive knew the truth about her. Perhaps it was because few has asked.

Until today.

They arrived promptly at 2 p.m., ringing her doorbell once politely, then after a pause there was a raucous knock on the door, followed by a hesitant, almost dainty knock. Élisabeth had been sitting at the table, reading the short letter over and over again. Today was the eighth; today was they day the mysterious _H.P. and friends_ would come for tea at her house; today was the day she was the day she knew she would have to say the name she had been afraid to utter for years. At the three distinct greetings at her door, she slowly stood up from the table, smoothed the front of her paisley dress, and walked to the foyer.

Through the glass door she could see a few figures, possibly three or four, standing outside, shuffling around nervously. Though indistinct as they were through the blurred glass, she got the sense that they were every bit as nervous as she was. One of the figures, with brown hair, appeared to slap the arm of the tallest in the group. That one had bright red hair, she could see that easily as she came closer. On the other side of the two playfully fighting stood a boy, or a man, she couldn't quite know his age, with darker hair, and behind him, glancing down frequently at something in her hands, was a girl with long red hair.

Many times since she had received their cryptic letter she had wondered about the identities of the senders. She had not known many people with the initials _H.P._ during her life, much less anyone who would refer to him or herself as such. Herman Percival, an old supervisor at L'Hôpital de la Magie de Paris, came to her mind, but he was retired now and too old to so much as lift a quill. What's more, they had never been on the best of terms, and if M. Percival had ever known of Sirius Black he would have only thought of him as the fanatical supporter of Lord Voldemort. The man had never been much into the news of the magical world existing in Britain, and he was all around a bad candidate to be the sender.

More and more in the recent days had the idea that Harry Potter had sent the letter entered her mind. Sirius had been best friends with James, and she remembered reading once, after his death, that Sirius had been Harry's godfather. Everything matched up, except for the question of how Harry, a young boy, would ever come to know of her existence? She laughed at the idea of Sirius having told Harry about her; she was certain he had never given her a thought since they parted so many years ago. So much had happened in his life, and his heart had surely become otherwise engaged during her absence. With stinging sadness she always remembered how her heart never had, despite how hard she tried. Even after his death, she was unable to let her love for Sirius die.

Whoever was calling on her for tea, she would now find out. Taking a deep breath and putting on a smile, she pulled back the bolt and turned the gold handle. In front of her were the faces she had seen pop up in the newspaper multiple times over the last few years. Harry Potter she knew quite well, but his friends' names she was unsure about. It didn't matter much, she figured, because she would soon find out all.

"Good afternoon, you must be Harry Potter and friends," she said in perfect English. "I'm Élisabeth LaBelle. Please come in and sit down." She extended her arm to point to the comfortable couches in the parlor where she had placed trays of cheese and bread, fruit, and a pot of tea.

The tall redhead rushed past her and flopped down on a couch. The brunette girl stepped forward and held out her hand, saying, "Pleased to meet you. I'm Hermione Granger, and of course as you've guessed this is Harry Potter, and behind him is Ginny Weasley. And over there on the couch is Ron Weasley."

After they had all come inside Harry turned to Élisabeth and said, "Thank you for agreeing to meet with us. I know we weren't very clear about what this was about in our letter, but we decided the full details were best to be discussed face to face."

"You see," Hermione began when they were all sitting, "we found something a few weeks ago that we believe concerns you. I assume that by your acceptance of meeting us today, it does."

Élisabeth looked down at her folded hands in her lap. She was unsure of what her face would read. She knew what was coming, and she had been preparing mentally for it for weeks, ever since she received the letter. Really, the more she considered the matter, she had been preparing for this confession since she was just a teenager. Only twice before had she had to make the confession, out of necessity. Now, it was out of curiosity. The first times it had hurt; the pain still felt fresh. Now, although she knew it would still hurt, she wanted to. Perhaps this time, she would finally have healing.

Looking up slowly, Élisabeth nodded and said quietly, "Yes. You want to know about Sirius."  
Hermione nodded and pulled a faded envelope out of her pocket. "We think this was supposed to be for you," she said as she handed it to Élisabeth.

She stared in wonder at the familiar scrawling handwriting. A knowing smile played at her lips. "I never thought I would see this writing again," she whispered. She turned it over in her hands, letting her fingertips memorize every crease and bend. It was both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time, like a long-lost friend she had nearly forgotten about.

"Go ahead and read it now, if you want," Harry said. "We did take the liberty of reading it ourselves to find out what it was."

Tears came to her eyes when she read, _Chère Élisabeth, I know it has only been three weeks since I last saw you but I miss you already._ The first shock was already over, hearing his name for the first time in a few years, and in a personal context, what's more, but seeing her name in his handwriting again was too much for her. She wasn't one to cry, especially not in front of people, let alone strangers, but this could not be helped. She struggled to compose herself for a minute before giving up and letting the tears flow freely. They were quiet sobs as she sucked in her breath and tried to calm down.

She felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Ginny sitting near her. The girl patted her lovingly, and it did help give her strength. Élisabeth smiled at her then continued reading the rest of the letter. Her heart swelled with each word. _You are forever in my heart_, it concluded, and she thought to herself, _You are forever in mine, too_.

"We're just confused because we never heard of you before, not from Sirius or from Remus," Harry said. "This letter was the first time we ever knew you existed."

"As it says, we planned to have it that way, for the time being," Élisabeth began. "We didn't want to, but we thought it was best for our safety to keep our relationship under wraps. There was, of course, the house rivalry, but that didn't mean anything. What mattered was the war; we couldn't let people know we were together. I couldn't align myself with the Order, because that would show the Death Eaters I was certainly against them. I didn't believe in what they were doing anymore, but I couldn't speak out against them. It was too dangerous, especially since I was a Slytherin."

Ginny sighed happily next to her and said, "What a dangerous romance! Tell us all about it!"

Élisabeth laughed, and feeling that it was good for them to know the truth, for the next half hour related to them the slightly censored tale of her year-long romance with Gryffindor's most eligible bachelor, which had been playing over and over again in her mind for a week. It was easier to talk about it the more she went on, and she could feel the burden of one of her greatest secrets lifting from her shoulders. She had never told the outside world about her romance before; she found it was liberating.

"I still think about him every day, even though I haven't seen him since I was seventeen," she quietly concluded. "I miss him very much; I have missed him every day since our hands last touched."

"What happened?" Hermione asked. "Why didn't you see him again?"

Blushing slightly, Élisabeth began to feel nervous. She hadn't thought how she would explain this part yet. But before she could open her mouth, there was a loud pop! outside her door followed by a quick set of knocks. "Mother!"

"Well, that's why," she said gesturing towards the door where they could now see a man standing outside.

She stood and walked to the door, letting him inside. "Salut, mon fils," she said, kissing him on both cheeks. "What a surprise! I have company right now, as you can see." She led him inside and introduced everyone to him. "This is my son-"

"Beetle!" Harry exclaimed when he realized who it was.

"You know him?" Ginny asked.

"Who is he?" Hermione asked leaning over to Ron, who merely shrugged.

"Hello, Mr. Potter," the intern said sheepishly and smiled. "I didn't know you knew my mother."

"We've only just met," Élisabeth said. "It's good that you're here. I was just about to talk about you."

When they were all comfortably acquainted and their presence was explained to each other (Beetle had a free weekend and decided to surprise his mother), Élisabeth, started to tell the story of how she cut off contact with Sirius. Everyone sat listening and drinking tea in silence, captivated by her story. "I began the summer with every intention of continuing our relationship. I had planned to write him as often as I safely could, but before I ever wrote to or received anything from him, I realized that I was pregnant. I knew then that I couldn't tell him about it, because he had a duty to the Order; he couldn't be both a father and in such a dangerous position, not so young. He wouldn't have been ready."

Élisabeth spoke slowly, still feeling very emotional about it all. "I couldn't tell him, but I couldn't break up with him, either. That would have hurt both of us too much. My only option was to leave Hogwarts and stay at home with my family. I was afraid that they would ostracize me like they had my mother, but I had to try.

"My mother kept a journal about what happened when I was born. I read it so many times after she died; it connected me to her. I think I have it memorized." Closing her eyes to see the page in her mind, Élisabeth continued, "She wrote, _I yelled at them. I couldn't take it anymore. 'What do you want from me?' I yelled. 'I'm not as strong as dad! I'm not perfect like my you! I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, but this,' I said pointing to my concealed stomach, 'is not one! This is my life, not yours! I love the father of my child, and I am going to keep my baby.' Well, of course, after that outburst they said they had no choice but to kick me out of the house. 'You will have to fend for yourself and your child. Your fate is out of our hands.' I have no regrets._

"I wanted to be better than her. I didn't want to make her mistakes. But I guess I turned out more like my mother than I ever would have imagined. Maybe it's genetics," she said, shrugging. "Thankfully by the time I was pregnant, my grandparents had softened up and they were able to accept my decision to keep him. I know they felt bad about how they had treated my mother when she was in my situation, so they wanted to make up for it.

"Well, we decided to move back to France where my cousins and extended family still lived. My grandparents thought it was good to leave Britain entirely, with the Dark Lord gaining power. It was a real breath of fresh hair leaving Britain; I didn't have to worry about anyone I had previously known finding me. Unfortunately, that also meant that Sirius couldn't find me. I wanted to write to him every day to let him know what was happening, but I knew I couldn't. He wasn't ready to have a child. I wasn't ready, myself.

"Thanks to my family's support, being a mother was not as hard as I anticipated it to be. I couldn't finish my education or get a job for some years, but trading that to be a mum wasn't so bad." She smiled up at her son, who had been looking acutely uncomfortable since he had entered the house. Feeling his mother's love he smiled back, relaxing a little more now.

"One of the hardest parts was deciding on a name for my baby. I couldn't very well name him Sirius IV going along with the Black's tradition; that would be too dangerous. Then I remembered some of the nights when Sirius stayed outside late stargazing. He could point out all the stars his family members were named after, along with other stars. Bételgeuse was one of his favorites because of its vibrant colour, and so I named my son Bételgeux.

"It wasn't until after the Dark Lord died, when you as a baby defeated him," she said pointing to Harry, "that I was able to admit to my family that Sirius was the father. For a moment, I had hope that I could tell Sirius everything, that he could meet his son and we could be a family. Of course, almost immediately afterwards the news broke that Sirius had murdered twelve Muggles. He was locked up in Azkaban, and I locked away my secrets again. It was a blessed relief when it was revealed what really happened that day and that Sirius was innocent, but that knowledge was only made known when . . . he died."

Élisabeth grew very quiet now, deep in a mournful reverie. Everyone else was similarly affected. After a while, Harry put down his teacup and spoke up. "Sirius was a good man. His wishes were always for the reign of goodness in the Wizarding World. He devoted his life to fighting against Voldemort, and he was never anything but a good friend. He was kind and compassionate, but he always knew how to cause mischief. You are a woman worthy of the Sirius Black I knew, and," turning to Beetle he continued, "I know without a doubt that he would have been proud of you, Beetle."

What had moments before felt like a sad memorial service now regained life and joy. Seemingly out of nowhere, the atmosphere in the room changed. Now, instead of tears of sadness, there were tears of joy and happiness and hugs all around. Sirius may be gone, but their love for him and his love for them was not. Even though they had only just met, Élisabeth felt like she had known them all forever, and she loved them. They brought back the happiness and good memories of Sirius that had been slowly fading for her. They were a family.

The group continued sharing memories and stories for many hours, until after the sky was dark. As Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny got up to leave, Ginny brought the old red box she had come in with to Élisabeth. "There are more letters that Sirius wrote to you. There are probably hundreds in here. They're all yours now. They have finally reached their intended recipient." She handed her the box, then with a few final hugs goodbye and promises to see each other again, they left.

She stared at the letters, her heart beating almost out of her chest. For years she had been hoping for some news about her old love. He was her one true love, in fact, the only man she had ever loved. And now, here in her trembling fingers, were his words written to her. It was overwhelming. She had not seen him for nearly 22 years, and even though he had been taken from this world years previously, she knew that her heart had never changed. She was then, now, and always would be, a Black at heart.


End file.
